Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
