and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize