You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
