dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize