ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
