with your own penis?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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