Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
