$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize