i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to make out with him forever
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
