You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
