she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
