Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Boobs speak an international language.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
