I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
