i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
