dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
