school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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