It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
