The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
