Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
