God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
