Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Two words: blizzard sex
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize