I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
