Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
