i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Less talking, more tequila
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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