There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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