She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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