I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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