fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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