I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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