plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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