should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also, beer. Big fan.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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