currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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