There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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