Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
