i need an iv and a liver transplant
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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