i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
