He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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