is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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