Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
