I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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