I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
