is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
