1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
