So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize