Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
