i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i think my cat just said my name.
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