I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
