Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
