You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
