Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize