She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my shit smells like andre
bring money and cleavage
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
