friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
