Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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