He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
