Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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