Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
