Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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