You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You were trust falling into bushes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize