***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
