make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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