I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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