That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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