I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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